Yes and No

Dr. Deb 22 Jan 2015

This time of year, everyone is saying what you need to do more of. The message is that you need to say YES to vegetables. YES to going to the gym. YES to saving more money. YES to buying whatever they’re offering.

Right.

And you’re thinking how can I possibly do any more? How can I possibly spend any more?

Everybody seems to want a piece of you; it’s like squeezing blood out of a turnip!

You may be thinking, “I’m completely maxed out. If only there was more money and more hours in a day!”

The challenge with saying YES to more stuff, is we have to say NO to other stuff.

Last year’s priorities may not be this year’s priorities. But if you keep saying YES without saying NO, you will just keep piling on, adding to your stress instead of reducing it.

I recently shared a quote by theist thinker, Rob Bell, that you have to say YES before you can say NO.* It means that when you know what to say YES (to something you’re passionate about), you then have permission to say NO to what you’re not!

I agree. I also agree that you have to say NO before you can say YES.

Check out what another thinker/author, Seth Godin, says on the subject (with CAPS added for emphasis. He brings out what many of us struggle with—RESPONSIBILITIES and EXPECTATIONS by others and ourselves.

“If you believe that you must keep your promises, overdeliver and treat every commitment as though it’s an opportunity for a transformation, the only way you can do this is to turn down most opportunities.

“NO I can’t meet with you, NO I can’t sell it to you at this price, NO I can’t do this job justice, NO I can’t come to your party, NO I can’t help you. I’m sorry, but NO, I can’t. Not if I want to do the very things that people value my work for.

“NO is the foundation that we can build our YES on.”

Either way, you look at it, it seems YES and NO go hand-in-hand.

Are you saying YES because you feel obligated, because of others’ expectations, and because you don’t feel permission to say NO?

Or are you saying NO because you’ve said YES to what is most important, valuable, and good for you and those you care about?

* From Rob Bell’s new podcast, The Robcast Episode 1, January 11, 2015. Check out here.

** Seth Godin’s blog, May 13, 2014. Check it out here.

Royalty-free image background by Jason Antony of Vancouver, Canada. Retrieved from http://www.freeimages.com/photo/810108